Friday, September 14, 2012

Not your typical mother-in-law

There are lots of jokes and snide remarks made about mother-in-laws.  But none of them hold true for mine.  When I married Josh I knew his mother, Mary, was a woman I admired and enjoyed being around.  But this summer my relationship with Mary has truly been lifesaving for me.

Mary has handled the good, the bad and the ugly.  I have cried with her more times than with anyone else.  When a wave of grief knocks me on my ass I pick up the phone and call her.  She always answers.  She listens and doesn't interrupt my nonsense.  She is patient as I tell her why I am desperately sad and simultaneously manage my 3 older children.  She cries along with me over Ethan's absence, though doesn't make this "about" her.  She honors the place Ethan has in our family and remembers him as her grandson.

I know she grieves her grandson, and is devastated that she never had the chance to meet him on this Earth.  She reassures me that we will all see him one day.  A day will come in Heaven when we will not have to say goodbye to him or ever let him go again.

Mary's faith is inspiring.  She has been through a number of traumatic experiences in her life, yet her faith is unwavering.  Her faith is unwavering yet she validates that I am allowed to ask why this shitty thing happened to us.  She has delicately balanced being thankful and optimistic while honoring the pain Ethan's death has brought.  Mary is a special person.

Mary is not only my mother-in-law, but she is also one of my best friends.  Words fail here Mary, though I pray a genuine thank you will suffice.  All my love to you.

1 comment:

  1. I will always remember one of the first things you said when I told you chris and i were engaged... "mel, we are SO lucky...we have the greatest mother-in-law in the world, seriously." And although she is not yet 'officially' my mother in law, she really is as amazing as you say.