Still Standing

I am a strong ass person.  (I really wanted to write something else here, but edited it)

I survived every single hour of 365 days after my son, my sanity, my peace was torn away from me.  That's a lot of hours.  A lot of tears.  A lot of anger.  Of jealousy.  Man, a lot of jealousy.  Of unfairness.  All stemming from my pain.  So.  Much.  Pain.  

Survived Memorial Day, Ryan's first birthday, Father's Day,  4th of July, my 32nd birthday, my wedding anniversary, Jackson's third birthday,  my due date with Ethan, Caroline's fifth birthday, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Josh's birthday, Mother's Day, Ethan's birthday, the first anniversary of his death, and every other day in between.

I fucking did it.

Hard days will continue, assuredly.  But now I know I have done it before, so I can do it again.